Happenings of Love: Bad End
by NaiOokamiSohma
Summary: (One Shot and Alternate End to "Happenings of Love" by Ryane-Foxx) Voldemort is dead, the Light won. Never knowing what a family or love felt like, Harry Potter sought only those things in life. Yet with desire he lost himself and now consequences have been served and what could have been will now never be.


**So this is a one shot I wanted to do for a written fic by Ryane-Foxx for the story **_**Happenings of Love**_** in chapter ten of her story, the things in italics is her original writing and then the rest is my own.**

**I wanted to do a tragedy different from what had happened after the tenth chapter, obviously it's a one shot and not too detailed and somewhat rushed. **sweatdrop** But I still enjoyed writing it. A bit AU considering Sirius is alive and that Harry had done something that hadn't been done in canon concerning Grimmauld Place Number 12.**

**Anyway, enjoy! :D**

* * *

"_I and Sirius were talking just the other day and I thought it was best I come to you about it myself." Harry's heart rate picked up at an alarming level and it made Remus nervous. Sirius obviously hadn't told Harry because there was no sadness mixed in with his scent; only excited happiness. Moving one leg and then the other, Remus tried to make himself comfortable on the couch._

"_Whatever it is Remy, you can tell me."_

"_I am leaving" Everything in the room seemed to freeze and all of Harry's happy emotions fell off the radar and into despair mixed with confusion._

"_You're…you're leaving? What…why?" The broken look on Harry's face made it impossible for Remus to look at him, turning his head instead to stare at the fire._

"_It's something I've been thinking about for some time now. I think it would be better for me to be with the Pack so I am going to stay with them." Harry had to fight off a whine of agony. He knew he should have never listened to Sirius! There was no way Remus liked him, it was all a lie!_

"_O-oh I see… well if you think that's what's best for you, you should do it…" The hollow tone of Harry's voice made Remus feel like he was dying inside. It wasn't supposed to happen like this!_

"_Thank you Harry. It means a lot to me that you're supporting my needs." Harry bit his lip, adjusting his glasses as his grip tightened on the book in his lap._

"_Of course Remy, whatever makes you happy." Finally looking at him, Remus made it obvious he was now trying to get Harry to look at him._

_Without another word Harry got up and rushed from the room._

* * *

Green eyes stared despairingly back at the mirror reflection of the same vibrant green, examining and taking in with pessimistic clarity the image of the unruly haired boy in the mirror before them.

He took note of his thin structure, scars peeking painfully from underneath the cuffs of his clothing – some simple and others he traced with a shaky hand, stomach floppy with the anxiety he felt.

Every little thing he saw reflected back at him was voiced with imperfection and with it tidal waves of emotional abuse that had been tucked away for so long came spiraling to the forefront. It _all _came back in quick succession, hitting and bruising the fragile soul that was slowly battered with each memory.

He just couldn't help to bend, to feel, and to acknowledge each word that swam through his consciousness from long gone moments. He loathed those memories, had tried to hide them and ignore them for so long and yet here they were, hurting and breaking him.

It was _that man's _fault though, it was his fault for leaving Harry in this mess of emotion and rejection, and leaving Harry to realize what his muggle family had possibly known all along what he had blatantly been trying to ignore all his life –

"I _knew _there was something wrong with me!" Harry cried out, nimble fingers clawing down his tear stained face.

He hated to acknowledge these feelings, after all he went through, all the pain and hardships he fought through and _won_ – Harry Potter felt so weak right then.

Harry loved with all his heart. Loved so much that he'd go through all seven hells just for _them_, it was this reason that he had made it at all. Perhaps that was also why when Harry began to feel more than just friendship for one single person, he broke from their rejection.

He could have understood if they had simply explained. He would have felt sad but he would _have understood_ – the blatant fact though that the man Harry loved with his entire being had _run away_ from Grimmauld Place _because of _**him**. It hurt so much more than simply being told "no" that Harry couldn't help but feel that his bigoted family had been _right_ all along.

He was just unwanted, unloved, never to be seen in the ways he wanted – nothing more but a confident and friend. But Harry wanted so much more! He really did, to be seen with such love and devotion, to be needed and wanted the way he felt for _him_… for him, Remus Lupin.

But _he _ran.

Remus **ran **and left him broken hearted with barely a by-your-leave, simply up and left after Harry had confessed. Was it too disgusting, too unfathomable to comprehend? Was that why Remus had left? Was Harry disillusioned to have believed that Remus would ever give him the time of day? Had he mistaken and given too much hope that Remus would consider?

"Why?! I just…!"

Harry felt his world crumble so easily, his strength and pride breaking into nothing but ruins. Despair washed over him, eating away at his soul as he recounted and played the past few days behind closed eye lids. It didn't help, it wouldn't help because all he saw and heard was that Remus had once dated Sirius his heart breaking to know this, feeling elation when his godfather promised to help him, and up to the point where his excitement down spiraled into depression when Remus looked at everything else but _him_ while he told Harry he was _leaving_.

What was wrong with him? What was _wrong_ with him?! Harry just needed to know, to understand, and maybe perhaps he could change... he could be better, but Harry would never know.

Harry lay there on the floor of the bathroom, forehead pressed into the bottom sink drawers. He cried and cried, clenching and unclenching his fists, sometimes even running his fingers through his unruly black hair in anxiousness.

He couldn't breathe, hyperventilating in the closed little room. He wanted so badly for it to stop, for the memories to _cease_ that Harry barely even rationally comprehended what he was doing when he reached up to the counter and grabbed his wand. Rationality had already been deteriorating the moment his vision had turned blurry with tears.

Harry just couldn't seem to fathom or come up with an argument as to why _not_ to do what he was about to do. He was hurting, he couldn't think, it hurt to breathe and his head pounded with each shaky and wheezy gasp.

All he did know was that he needed to stop it, stop the pain even for just a while. Harry just needed to pause the moment, to let his brain deteriorate into limbo where he wouldn't have to think or feel – _just for the moment_. Harry assured himself even as he pressed the slim wand tip underneath his chin.

His rationality was gone now, the hurt shadowing the reasons why he shouldn't be doing this. That he would be hurting others even more because of his actions. Harry would be leaving so many behind because of this, still – –

_Just…a moment_, Harry mouthed tiredly.

With this desire, dark and dripped with determination Harry whispered an incantation, the very first that popped to mind. The wand dropped from the now limp hand, Avada green eyes hiding away beneath closing lids, and his tired body that had been tight with tension loosened and fell back onto the floor.

Perhaps if Harry had just waited a moment he would have realized the spell he used was dark with power, one derived from the Black family library, leaving him in a deep comatose that even when others found him and brought him to St. Mungos Harry never moved from his sleep-like state.

Nothing could ever be done for him, all the dark books of the Black family having been destroyed during the second war. The healers worked furiously though, working to wake up the savior that had saved the Wizarding World and then been so emotionally hurt that he had turned his wand on himself.

But as months went by both healers and friends began to lose hope. It was commented that even if the healers had the curse written out for them they had doubted Harry Potter would have woken up. It seemed that unless the victim didn't wish to wake they never would, even with the counter spell, and Harry Potter _didn't_ have the desire to wake.

Friends and family visited, but it was only one person Harry ever wanted to see or hear again but Remus Lupin had run away and it wouldn't be until a month, after both parties acknowledged that Harry would forever be comatose, that Remus Lupin had come back.

Yes, perhaps if Harry had just taken a moment, just waited and had someone with him this path wouldn't have happened. Perhaps Remus would have even come back sooner, would have realized that he had made a terrible mistake that had cost him more than he could have ever imagined.

Harry Potter lived in a dream world now because of his actions but Remus Lupin was still living with his consequence, barely alive because the happy ending he could have had was destroyed by his own two hands by rejecting _him_: his mate, Harry Potter.


End file.
